Experimental music composer. Heir to the Blackhurst fortune.

Wooden legged accountant from the firm Smallwood, Glorpmann and Lusk, who handle the Bumbridge accounts. A member of the Institutional Club and Lord Bumbridge's lover.

Temperamental sous chef in the Bumbridge kitchen.

Founder of the accounting firm of Smallwood, Glorpmann and Lusk and the father of Ariel. On the board of directors of The Institutional Club.

Lady Bumbridge's second best friend. Champion complainer.

Antagonistic kitchen maid at the Bumbridge household.

Butler at the Institutional Club "Mothership". A wealth of information.

Friend of Lord Bumbridge and Institutional Club member. A general good egg.

Wayward son of Lord and Lady. Lives in a squat with his friends, Helga and Hedwig.

Head housekeeper at the Bumbridge residence.

Clutchworthy's Welsh musician friend. Plays guitar in Hugo Sex Kitchen

Lady Bumbridge's wig wearing best friend.

Head nurse at The Care Home for The Disgusted. Mid 50s, sharp and resourceful, strong stomach, likes drink, drugs and I Dream of Jeannie.

A refuse eating transient character who quacks like a duck but never speaks.

The Bumbridge mechanic, in charge of the fleet of 20 cars.

Funded jointly by the Tunbridge Wells Ministry of Science and Technology and The Steam Guild, Niels Rauch heads R&D into new technologies for the town. His lab comprises the two floors above The Opera House.

Keitaro's older sister. Plays bass in Hugo Sex Kitchen.

Director of the Tunbridge Wells Masturbation Clinic. Advises poor souls who have lost their way.