Welcome to The Nether Regions (TNR). You have just entered a bizarre world of colourful characters and sometimes even more colourful places. TNR is a soap opera. That's right just like the ones on television, except that this one isn't shit and we don't get paid huge salaries for doing it. (Mind you, if someone offered us a job writing TV soap operas we'd chuck this drivel like a shot.) TNR is written in a genre that we call Science Fiction–Comedy–Smut, or SFCS. We had to make up our own genre because we couldn't get published in any of the existing ones.

TNR is set in the town of Tunbridge Wells, Kent, in the southeast of England, where we both actually live. We figured we might as well write about what we know. And because of that, parts of TNR are true, or partly true, and parts are fictional. But you'll have to decide what is what because we aren't going to tell you. If you're very curious, come and visit sometime.

Because of its soap opera nature, you will probably want to start with Series 1 and follow the story in chronological order (1st episode: last page bottom most post, and ascending). We will try not to confuse you too much, but then, we are both a bit confused ourselves, and it IS a soap opera after all.

And now, a bit about us...

Sonia Diamond
Sonia was born in a circus sideshow to a Swiss ballerina and a Cornish juggler. She grew up performing with her parents in cheap traveling troupes touring eastern Europe (mostly Bulgaria) while living in a 1967 Morris Minor (green). At the age of 16 she forged a birth certificate and joined the army, rather than be forced to earn a living as a window dresser in southeast London. She was dishonourably discharged six months later for "disturbing the men".

After briefly considering a career in politics, Sonia elected to study linguistics at university in the hopes of being the first ever truly international stand up comedian. She now speaks 140 languages (including ancient Mayan), but has yet to get the comedy thing going. She got distracted when, at a party in 2001, she tried a drug called Seraphim and fell in love with a West Highland White Terrier while under its influence. Intrigued, she sought out the origin of the drug, which lead her straight to Tunbridge Wells. After further research revealed that people lived underground, ate rats and travelled around primarily by boat, she moved to T-Wells and has never looked back.

Sonia works as a tour guide at the Tunbridge Wells Steam Museum and lives in a gorgeous tunnel flat in the Grand Cavern.

Todd Brunner
Todd Brunner (formerly Blubber) was born in Squirrelsville, California, USA, in the period that old people were born in. Son of 2 parents, one of each sex, his childhood was happy, if somewhat unconventional and dangerous. Todd excelled in wearing tights and prancing about on stage. He had in fact wanted to become an actor but settled for a career in music, his greatest musical influence being Nana Mouskouri.

Todd had always been fascinated by all things British, especially drab and damp English seaside towns, so in 1987 he left the sunny West Coast and settled in elderly-rich Eastbourne. Whilst living there and making a living as a gigolo, he came across an old tome that detailed the secrets of a certain Kentish town, tales of gondolas, tunnels and waterfalls. Todd was thus lured to the delights of Tunbridge Wells.

He is presently active blogging, podcasting and musing about Tunbridge Wells. He has resumed his music career and is trying to change humanity (and yes, he’s halfway there).